BIG BOYS DON'T CRY PART II
Story by Iona Yeager
Based on the CBS/VIACOM Series
DIAGNOSIS MURDER
PG13 for sexual innuendo and violent stiuations.
In Part One: Thanks to CJ's wishful thinking, Steve and Amanda
switch bodies.
"This is too cool, " Amanda/Steve declared easing the
truck back into third gear. Steve/Amanda sighed in relief as
truck slowed. Amanda drove the vehicle like it was his Dad's
Porsche.
"You buy a truck and I'll arrest you myself."
"Oh, stop being such a stick."
"And please stop talking like that with my voice,"
Steve/Amanda insisted.
"Like what? It's better than watching you walk with my
body--oh my God, Steve. Look."
Barricaded and filled with police officers, ambulances, and a
swat unit, the scene brought back memories of Carter Sweeny's
reign of terror. Screams filled the air, as bullets rang out,
heralding each movement. A paramedic crouched, bleeding by his
ambulance. Steve cringed as Amanda nearly stripped his gears,
parking the truck haphazardly on a curb. She grabbed her bag and
pushed open her door. Steve pulled at her sleeve. Amanda's
fingers barely circled his wrist. Amanda/Steve glanced at him/her
in surprise.
"I have to help those people, " she insisted.
"You're the cop, remember. I'm the doctor." He reached
behind him, then, frowning at his short feminine arms, turned on
the seat and pulled out his assault rifle.
Amanda/Steve's face went white.
"Take it." He insisted. "And just stick close to
me." He reached out taking square chin in his hand.
"Amanda. People are dying. We have to get out there."
Taking cover behind the truck, Steve showed Amanda how to hold
the rifle. As Amanda/Steve took the lead, Steve reached and drew
his sidearm from the holster on Amanda/Steve's hip. Heated by the
slight movement Amanda flushed. Steve/Amanda chuckled in spite of
himself.
"Think of the problem at hand." Steve/Amanda advised.
"It will go away."
"How do you walk around all day with this reaction to the
least little thing?"
"Amanda, I'm in your body, remember? Things are not exactly
cool and dry in here all day either." He checked the
perimeter. "Damn."
Cheryl and Officer Davis flagged him. Cheryl frowned when
"Steve" didn't respond.
"You've got to take point." He told Amanda. He nodded
at the paramedics and their downed victim. "I'll have to use
my Nam field first aid experience."
Amanda made a quick assessment. A chest wound and a leg wound.
The head wound was DOA. Grimly Amanda gave Steve some swift
instructions. Raising the rifle she darted towards Cheryl.
"Amanda," Steve/Amanda hissed after her. "Stop
holding the freaking rifle like a purse."
Steve pulled his side arm and zigzagged to the ambulance, rolling
to avoid a spray of gunfire. The handsome paramedic with the leg
wound grinned at him.
"Nice move. I'm impressed Doctor Bentley."
"What? Thanks. You got a gun in your unit?"
The paramedic nodded, puzzled by Doctor Bentley's abrupt tone.
"Cover me, while I get-" she read the badge.
"Laura into the unit."
"What's wrong with Sloan?" The paramedic asked
suddenly. "He's going to get killed."
Steve glanced up. He cursed, seeing his own large form crouching
in the open. Bullets barely missed Amanda/Steve as she/he
literally crawled over to Cheryl and Davis.
"Are you nuts?" Cheryl asked. She took aim and fired.
"What branch of the service were you in, the Girl
Guides?"
"That's a pretty sexist thing to say." Amanda/Steve
remarked. Cheryl indicated the position of Steve's rifle.
"Are you going shoot me or Liberty's Children out
there?"
"Sorry. What's going on?"
"We got six, maybe seven heavily armed males and females
with body armor. They tried to take the bank. Killed a security
guard and fired on the first group of paramedics that arrived on
the scene. You saw what happened to the second.
Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah. Why."
"You look scared."
Cheryl turned around.
"We have to get closer to bank. They're closed off from
their transport. That gives us some advantage. They weren't
prepared for a hostage situation."
"Maybe we can negotiate."
"We tried. These people do not want to talk, Steve. This is
war for them. We have civilians down in the bank. We have to get
them out. "
"I'll take point." Pretending she was in Peter Cheung's
ballet class, Amanda mimicked Steve's gait as one would complex
choreography. A rain of bullets forced them into a corner.
Amanda/Steve instinctually grabbed Cheryl and rolled to safety,
shielding Cheryl underneath Steve's large body. Making certain
Cheryl was all right, Amanda moved again, taking position behind
a van. She dove around the van coming face to face with one of
the terrorist.
She aimed her weapon.
"I don't want to shoot you." Amanda/Steve told the man.
He was little more than twenty if that.
"I got no problem killing you, pig!" The boy raised his
weapon then fell backwards as a bullet pierced his neck. Amanda
turned seeing herself standing with gun raised, her eyes clear,
cool, and unfamiliar. Steve/Amanda reached out a slender hand and
pushed Steve hard.
"Move," he ordered. Running, Steve/Amanda emptied his
clip, shooting in the direction of the terrorist. They ducked
under a truck and belly crawled out of range. Steve/Amanda jerked
the rifle out of Amanda/Steve's hand. He adjusted it and slammed
it back into her hands.
"USE IT." The cold, hard voice grated, coming though
her lips. She knew that look. She had seen the expression on
Steve's face countless times, depended on that certainty that he
would do whatever was required to protect her or any other
innocent person. Steve went on. "You were nearly killed and
your hesitation could cost any of these officers or civilians
their lives. Do what you need to do to save those people in that
bank and cover your fellow officers. Deal with your conscience
another time."
Her vision blurred by angry, frustrated tears and unable to bear
Steve's granite expression imposed on her features, Amanda turned
away. One of the terrorist took position on top of a van, her
weapon pointed at the spot where Amanda knew Cheryl hid. Amanda
raised the gun, peering through the sites. It seemed for a moment
the terrorist turned and saw her: Blue eyes, pretty doll like
features-another half-child. The terrorist pointed her weapon and
Amanda aimed and squeezed the trigger. The girl's body rolled to
the ground. Steve/Amanda reached out, her slender hand warm on
Steve's hard shoulder. Amanda/Steve shook him off.
"Go take care of the wounded, Doctor," she said in a
harsh voice. Steve thought sadly that this one time Amanda
sounded very much like him.
-2-
"Ten dead including five of the terrorist and fourteen
wounded," Cheryl dropped her report on Steve's desk.
"The politicians are going to have a field day with this
one." Steve was silent, starring at the blank text screen on
his computer. Cheryl leaned forward, peeking at his work.
Showered and changed, she smelled divine. Amanda, sensing a mild
but very male reaction to Cheryl closeness wondered if Steve was
attracted to the pretty cop or did his body have some animal
radar when a woman came near.
"That all you got?" Cheryl said with a snort.
"You're really off today. Are you sick?"
"What? No. I just don't know what to write."
"Standard report, Lieutenant. Account for your shots fired.
Thanks for saving my life by the way."
"Part of the job."
"What about that Amanda Bentley? She was incredible today.
Glad you issued her a weapon. You know, if I didn't know better I
would sworn you switched places."
"Cheryl, didn't this bother you? They were just kids. The
youngest was 19."
"Yeah. It was a bad day. But we got the bad guys. We've got
to go with that or lose your mind, isn't that what you taught
me?" Cheryl patted his shoulder. "Look, you want to
join us for a beer, maybe a game of pool? Work some of this day
off?"
"Thanks, but I have to check on Amanda. She killed a man
today. She's not taking it too well."
"Look Steve, excuse me for saying so, but although Amanda
was quiet she seemed to handle the day better than you." At
Steve's look Cheryl held up her hands. "Okay, okay. I'll
back off. When you want to tell me what's wrong, let me know. I
just want to know when we're out there on the street, you still
got my back."
"Yeah. Always, "Amanda answered, knowing that Steve,
when everything was back to normal, would always be there for his
partner.
**********************************************************************************************
"Amanda I just want to help," Jesse called out. He
knocked again. Steve rounded the corner. Seeing him, Jesse
smiled.
"Hey! I saw you on the news. Good job."
Steve shrugged. He pointed at the door.
"What's wrong with Amanda?"
"Don't know. Says she's up to her ears, I offered to help,
but she want even open the door."
Steve nodded.
"Let me talk to her."
Jesse stood aside. Steve raised an eyebrow.
"Alone, Jess."
"Oh, yeah. Okay." He frowned. "Nah. It's not
possible."
"What's not possible."
"Oh, nothing. Something the boys said about some silly
movie. I'll see you later back at the house."
Steve knocked on the door.
"Amanda, it's me. I'm alone. Open up."
Steve/Amanda opened the door, her face creased with worry.
"What took you so long? I'm a doctor's son, I can do a
pretty mean tourniquet, but an autopsy? That is beyond my
experience."
"You had no problem putting them here," Amanda/Steve
snapped, pulling off Steve's top coat. She jerked at the holster.
Steve/Amanda hand stilled on the lock. He bit his lip, stifling
an angry retort before gently locking the door. He walked over to
Amanda/Steve, pushed asked her hands, and properly removed the
holster from her hip. He peered up at her face.
"That is grossly unfair, Amanda and you know it. You can't
believe I wanted to kill that boy. Did you want to kill the two
people you shot or were you thinking of saving Cheryl and that
poor woman trying to protect her son? What choice did you have?
No, no, don't do that," A large tear rolled down
Amanda/Steve's rugged face, followed by a dozen others. Steve
gaped, mesmerized. He never realized his tear ducts held that
much fluid. "Shhh, I'm sorry. The day was just wrong for all
us."
Unable to pull Amanda/Steve's into Amanda's small arms,
Steve/Amanda reached up stroking the too familiar face. He needed
a shave, he thought. He recalled the times Amanda touched him
like this, offering him comfort, allowing him to hold her against
his demons and pain. He thought also of her light, chaste kisses
to his face. And he thought of the dozens of times he wished she
would touch those lips to his so he could opened them and probe
the soft moistness inside.
Looking at the face she saw in the mirror everyday, she wondered
if she looked to Steve as he/she did to her now: yielding and
open. Steve had chewed off her lipstick, leaving his/her lips
swollen and dark maroon. Amanda put her finger to the lips,
curious as to how they would feel and gasped as the lips opened
and Steve's warm breath caress her hands as he spoke her name.
"Steve! Amanda!" Open the door." It was Mark, his
voice stern and determined.
Amanda/Steve wiped her face.
"I can't allow him to see me like this. What will he
think?"
The knob turned and the door opened. Mark studied the two people
he loved. His son, his face streaked with tears, turned away.
Amanda, as absurd as it seemed, wore the exact same expression as
Steve did the first time Mark found him necking with the
neighbor's older daughter.
"Dad, I mean Mark, I locked the door for a reason. Steve's
had a hard day."
"You would know." Mark said. He shut the door.
Amanda/Steve walked over to Amanda's desk. Steve/Amanda cringed
as she/he delicate pulled a tissue from a flowered box and
carefully wiped her face.
"I know." Mark said simply. "The moment I saw the
news reports."
"You know what, Dad- I mean Mark?"
"No. You mean Dad." Mark towered over Steve/Amanda
starring into her soft brown eyes bemused. "Somehow, You are
my son--and you-" He pointed to Steve. "Are
Amanda."
"That's absurd." Amanda/Steve said after a profound
silence. "Where did you get this ideal."
"CJ. He said he wished yesterday that you were more like
Steve and his wish came true, just like in that movie-Switch or
something like that."
"Really, Dad. That's a child's movie."
"Oh you've seen it."
"No but if CJ knows about it, it must be a child's movie.
Amanda wouldn't let them see anything else, right Amanda."
"What, oh no. Except Shaolin Duel."
"You let them see that after what I-" Amanda/Steve
paused catching Mark's knowing glance. "Look, Dad. I don't
know why you believe this Switcheroo thing, but you're
mistaken."
"Really? You want to tell me then why you were falling apart
when I walked in? That's not the Steve Sloan I know."
"What are you saying, Mark?" Steve/Amanda wanted to
know. "You don't think your son can be effected by taking a
life? You think he's that cold, that brutal, and that far removed
from anything else but his job? You think your son walked into
this room, looked at those bodies on the slabs and was totally
unaware of what a total, unforgivable waste the events of this
day was?"
Mark looked into Amanda's face, seeing more clearly than either
of them, the shadow of his son's inner struggle in her eyes.
"I know my son values life as much as I do, AMANDA. That's
why he became a police officer, to protect life. I knew if there
was any way around the situation, he would brought those
terrorist in alive. He did what he had to do, and I know he hated
it. But that wouldn't have broke him. But it's different for
Amanda. She's a doctor. She took an oath to preserve life at all
cost."
"It didn't break me, I just bent a little,"
Amanda/Steve spoke up. "Look Dad, I'm sorry if we've been
acting weird, but it's been a rough couple of months. Look I-
Amanda has a lot of to finish up. I promised I would stay and
help. Where are the boys?"
Mark hesitated.
"At Amanda's mom's. I'll pick them up on the way home. I
guess you two will be late?"
"Yeah. And don't wait up." Out of habit Amanda/Steve
kissed Mark's cheek.
Mark winked at "Amanda."
"That kissing thing." He kissed "Amanda's"
cheek. "Take care of each other."
"You think we convinced him?" Amanda/Steve locked the
door.
"Oh. Yeah. Sure." Amanda watched in fascination as her
lips twisted into a facsimile of Steve's' one sided smirk.
"You know how easy it is to fool my Dad."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. Still, I hardly believe this
myself. I keep waiting to wake up--especially after going to the
Men's room at the station." She shuddered a totally female
gesture.
Steve starred at her.
"You've really got to get out of my body," he laughed.
"And you out of mine."
"Now, that is something entirely different," Steve
said, his inflection suddenly warm and teasing. Slowly gathering
his meaning, Amanda tossed one of her lab coats at him.
"My jackets don't fit these massive pecs of yours, smut for
brains. Go and borrow a lab coat and box of gloves from your
dad's office. I have a lot work to do."
**************************************
"It doesn't work like that, Uncle Mark," CJ explained.
The youngster sipped thoughtfully at his third root beer float.
Mark hoped the boys wouldn't get a stomach ache. The thought of
an irate Amanda coming after him in Steve's body was too horrid a
fate to contemplate. "See, Uncle Steve and Mommy have to
learn something."
"You boys wanted your Mom and Uncle Steve to switch bodies
to learn to appreciate each other?"
"No, we just wanted to watch the playoffs," Dion
admitted. "But since the wish came true, then somebody has
to learn their lesson."
Mark nodded, marveling at the wisdom in child logic.
"Well, I could have sworn your Mom and Uncle Steve already
appreciate each other."
"Yeah," CJ agreed. "But they are silly about other
things. Like they don't even know they like each other."
"What do you mean, CJ? They love each other."
"We know, Uncle Mark." Dion cut in. "But they
don't know it. If they knew they loved each other they would act
like a real Mom and Dad and we could live here all the
time."
"Heaven help us. If Steve and Amanda have to admit that they
love each other we're doomed."
***********************************************************************************
Amanda stood on the porch, folding her arms about her waist.
Steve had such good, strong arms, she thought, the kind of woman
dreamed held her in the night and kept her safe from the cold and
loneliness. Colin had arms like this, hard, unyielding muscle
that could be so tender and giving. She felt a stir of guilt
about Colin.
"I do love you," she told him before that final
good-bye.
"Almost," he smiled, his perfect almost feminine lips
close to hers. "But I could never compete with them."
Behind them Mark and Steve played a lose game of touch football
with young CJ, letting the toddler weave and bob between them.
He pressed a finger to her lips anticipating her protest.
"You know if it were just a sexual thing between you and
Steve, I could fight it. I think you and I have magic."
Amanda smiled affirmative, her eyes darkening in response. Colin
kissed her, a brief caress. "And it was not the distance
between us, although that didn't help our cause. This bond
between you and the Sloans is a physical force and that either
draws you in or shuts you out. Look at my son. He's more Mark's
child than mine. He always will be."
As if hearing CJ looked up and waved the form rubber football.
"Daddy, Daddy! I got a touch down. Come play with me
Daddy."
"Well, Dad's always wanted to see me more open to my
feelings." Steve came up behind her. He reached up cupping
the square jaw in with a tiny hand. "But this is getting to
be a bit much. You using up all my tears." Amanda wrapped
large hands around Steve's. She never noticed that though small,
how strong her hands were and how perfectly it fit into Steve's.
"Were you thinking of those kids?" Steve asked.
She shook her head. She drew the compact little body next to
hers, circling the tiny waist in one hand. Just as she did many
times, Steve laid his head against her chest.
"I'll never forget this day, or those two people. But, I was
thinking about Colin. About the last time I saw him." Steve
stiffened and pulled away. Amanda drew him back, smiling with
gentle understanding. "It wasn't like that. You know I do
miss him, more that I thought I would. Even after we understood
that we didn't love each other enough to make it work, we were
still good friends. And he was a loving father. I think somehow,
that I can finally forgive myself."
"For what?"
"For not loving Colin as much as I loved you and Mark."
"Oh." He sighed. "I was thinking the same about
Lisa, but it was a little more personal."
"I don't understand."
He gave a short laugh.
"Funny how being in this body makes it easier for me to
talk." Steve stepped away.
He dropped his head. The long dark hair fell forward, and he
swept it back, holding it to his nose and inhaling. "I love
the way your hair smells. I cannot wait to be back in my own body
so I can touch your hair and you body with my own hands, hold you
with my own arms."
"Steve--"
"Let me get this out. Lisa was so perfect, you know. Funny
and pretty and sweet. But she wasn't you. And I was certain you
would notice, like I noticed you with Colin or Ron."
"You think I dated Colin and Ron so you would what-get
jealous?"
"No. I know you cared about them." He moved forward and
wrapped his arms about her waist. "But, at least for me,
it's about being to scared to let you this close."
"Ahhh. The Amanda clause."
Steve threw back his head and laughed.
"Remind me to muzzle Jesse."
"He thought he was talking to you."
Steve shrugged.
"Jack and I came up with that phrase when we were callow
young men. Being with you or any woman was about sex."
"Oh, and now there's no sex involved in your feelings for
me?"
"When we get together--and note I didn't say
"if"--"when" we get together there will be no
end to my loving you." He spread his hands, indicating the
female body he inhabited. "We have no secrets from each
other now. But I know you're not ready.'
"Neither are you, Steve."
"You're right. Neither am I." He stroked her face,
wrinkling his nose at the stubble on the chin. "So. Where do
we go from here? We can't go back to the way things were."
"I know. Can we just take this one day at a time? No
expectations? No promises."
"Amanda. I told you once, I'm monogamous. Expectations, no.
But hope, always. Okay, no promises, but commitment, that has to
come with our relationship. We have CJ, Dion and my father to
think about."
"I know you're right. I'm just tired."
Steve walked her to the door of his bedroom.
Amanda turned.
"Steve, I can't sleep in this body, in that bed alone. Will
you stay with me?" He hesitated and she added. "Don't
worry, I won't do anything with your body that you wouldn't
choose to do yourself. I just want you close."
Steve slipped his hand into hers and they walked together to the
bed.
**************************************
Steve stretched inhaling a sweet, female aroma. Soft, fine hair
tickled his nostrils. As he moved, the small body next to his
elongated, then curled back against him. His hand spread out over
the soft cotton shirt covering the satiny skin. With his finger
tips he explored her upper body, kneading her belly before
tightening his hold and pulling her closer. He sighed with deep
satisfaction, feeling his pure male response. Amanda stirred,
turning so she could burrow her head into his chest.
"Steve," she whispered, still half asleep. She slipped
her arms about his waist, draping one long slender leg over his.
Her discovery brought her fully awake. "Steve!" she
shrieked and moved back. Her eyes opened wide. She reached out
and touched his face.
"You're back in your body."
He laughed, the low and sexy chuckle his very own from his very
own chest. Kissing her palm he said.
"I wouldn't have been, if you hadn't moved when you
did."
She playfully tapped his cheek.
"You're bad."
He got up and lifting his hands over his head as he stretched .
His tight briefs barely conceal his joy at being male once more.
Amanda's eyes widen before she looked away, blushing. Steve
looked down at her. She was so tiny, yet so strong. She was very
female with her soft hair falling about her face, her hands
pressed against the bed. His bed, his room, his woman. He reached
out his hand and tilted her chin.
"Amanda. I have never let a woman sleep here, in this room,
with me. And now this picture of you in my bed is branded in my
brain." Amanda looked up. "I know you're scared. Dad
told me, when he thought I was you. But I won't let you run away
from me. Come on, shower with me. I'll be good, I promise."
"That's what I'm afraid of," she muttered.
He laughed and swinging her up into his arms as they disappeared
into the bathroom.
*****************************************************************
Mark flipped a golden brown pancake in the air, allowing it to
fall on his face. CJ and Dion rolled off their chairs with
laughter.
"You're spoiling these boys, Mark." Amanda said. She
maneuvered around the stove and coming to perfect point, tiptoed
to kiss his cheek. Steve ran up behind the boys and grabbed both
of them in a swinging bear hug.
"Uncle Steve!" The boys squealed with delight.
"You're back!"
"Back from where?" Steve asked, wagging his eyebrow.
"YOU KNOW," CJ accused, giggling as Steve tickled him.
Amanda groaned as her beeper went off. She looked at the number.
"I've got go in."
"That's okay. I was go take the boys body surfing,"
Steve said.
Amanda wrapped a pancake around an egg and grabbed a napkin.
"Okay. But remember to wait a full hour before going
in," Amanda warned.
Steve looked at the boys and waved his hands like a conductor.
"Okay Mom," they sang.
Mark shook his head in bewilderment watching Amanda leave.
Steve walked over to his father, leaning on the counter. He
picked up a sausage, munching it with two bites.
"What?" he asked.
Mark shook his head.
"Nothing, it just that, well, I know things are different
between you and Amanda, now. But things really aren't any
different. Except maybe the sleeping arrangements."
"Don't go there, Dad."
"Okay." Mark turned away.
"Dad?"
"Yeah?"
"We'll make it legal."
"Yeah. I know." He smiled. You know, things are still
just the same." He indicated the boys. "This is the way
we have always been."
"You mean like a family?"
"Yeah. A family."
Steve hugged his dad.
CJ watching them, fingered his dog tags.
"Thanks Dad." He whispered looking up. On his cloud,
Colin saluted.
"Anytime son."
The end.
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